Please pick one of the two monologues below for your audition. You do not need to learn the monologue off by heart, reading from a print out or digital device is allowed. 

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Character: Professor Henry Higgins

Show: My Fair Lady

Scene: Higgins’ Study

Brief: Higgins is an expert in phonetics, the science of speech. His passion is accents. Eliza Doolittle, a common flower-seller, has approached him to learn how to speak like a lady. His friend Colonel Pickering has just bet him that he cannot pass Eliza off as a Lady at the Embassy Ball in six months. In the following speech, he is trying to “convince” Eliza to go along with the scheme. 

 

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"Henry Higgins. Hmmm. Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop. If you're good and do whatever you are told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis.

 

But if you are naughty and idle you shall sleep in the back kitchen amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall be taken to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out that you are not a lady, the police will take you to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls.

 

But if you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. If you refuse this offer you will be a most ungrateful wicked girl; and the angels will weep for you."

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Character: Alfred P Doolittle.

Show: My Fair Lady.

Scene: Higgins’ Study.

Brief: Doolittle is a common Dustman, and Eliza’s (mostly) absentee father. He has the gift of the gab, and is good at talking people round. He has just learnt that Eliza is staying with Higgins and Pickering, and has jumped to the conclusion that their purpose is improper…so he has come to see if he can get a little something for himself out of it. Colonel Pickering has just accused him of having no morals. 

 

"Alfred P. Doolittle. No, no, I can't afford 'em, gov'ner. Neither could you if you was as poor as me. Not that I mean any 'arm, mind you, but if Eliza's getting a bit out of this, why not me too? Eh? Why not? Well, look at it my way - what am I? I ask you, what am I? I'm one of the undeserving poor, that's what I am.

 

Now think what that means to a man. It means that he's up against middle-class morality for all of time. If there's anything going, and I puts in for a bit of it, it's always the same story: "you're undeserving, so you can't have it." But my needs is as great as the most deserving widows that ever got money out of six different charities in one week for the death of the same 'usband.

 

I don't need less than a deserving man, I need more! I don't eat less 'earty than 'e does, and I drink, oh, a lot more. I'm playin' straight with you. I ain't pretendin' to be deserving. No, I'm undeserving. And I mean to go on being undeserving.

 

I like it and that's the truth. But, will you take advantage of a man's nature to do 'im out of the price of 'is own daughter what he's brought up, fed and clothed by the sweat of 'is brow till she's growed big enough to be interesting to you two gentlemen? Well, is five pounds unreasonable? I'll put it to you, and I'll leave it to you."